I've been reading a lot of blogs these days, and after wiping the vomit off of my chin I've taken the time to realize what makes a good blog: a theme. Yes, random blogging is boring, theme based blogging is fun. So, in my second post, I've decided that my blog will be about something near and dear to my heart: shit that pisses me off.
I'll never be one of those bloggers who people turn to to get a full dose of daily affirmations. Nor will I be a blogger who will change the world. Nay, my calling is to provide a place for like-minded jerks like myself to rant about the things that make this world a little less great. Or a little less awesome. Or plain sucky. Yes, I'm a huge cynic. Don't read any further if you're looking to be inspired, motivated, lifted-up, or anything of a positive nature. No, this space is strictly reserved for just plain bitching. Yes, I'm going to rant and rave and should anyone even read here, I hope that I can strike a nerve.
I plan on taking on all sorts of topics, but I will most likely write about the things that piss me off the most. Some of these topics will include politics, religion, alcohol, cycling, music, sports and whatever else I feel like bitching about. If you're a rosy outlook, glass-is-half-full kind of person, then this blog is probably not for you. If you get irked at the littlest thing, like the crust on the toothpaste tube, then this is your place. I will welcome comments, and will respond to the best ones. I don't expect to have any followers, so this promise is a lot of bullshit at this point.
My goal is to post a whole lot. But drinking, TV, and football, might prevent that. I don't think you can truly be a world renown blogger unless you blog drunk half of the time, so I aim to fulfill that requirement. I encourage any comments about poor grammar, punctuation, or cleanliness. Maybe we will have a long and happy journey together. Yeah, right. Fucking bullshit.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Friday, February 11, 2011
The worst drivers in the world
I've been all around the world in my job. I've seen a lot of terrible drivers. But the last few days have made it clear to me that the worst drivers in the world reside in the mid-south.
I'm stuck in Memphis, TN doing some training for my job for about two and a half months. It's not the worst place in the world to spend that much time, but it's not home either. Lately, the mid-south has seen some incredible weather which has brought out the absolute worst in it's vehicle operators. Granted, the concept of snow removal is non-existent, which only adds to the mayhem, but you'd think the lack thereof would lead to an overall reliance on caution. Not so. Not even close.
Because they don't have snowplows here, or sand spreading trucks, or magnesium chloride trucks, the roads were pure ice the other day. That didn't stop the many morons from heading out like any other day, assaulting the road as if it were a straight-away at Talladega. The worst culprits were the pick-up trucks. With no weight over their drive axles, they just skidded, and skidded with reckless abandon. And everyone here owns a pick-up. You do the math. It was next to impossible to not be behind one of these completely inadequate vehicles. I felt like I was just moments away from a collision.
I left for work an hour early, planning on the chaos that would be out there. It wasn't a bad decision. It took the full hour to drive the usually 20 minute route to work. Along the way there were many cars stuck in ditches, around telephone poles, and stalled on hills, unable to get moving. Meanwhile, geniuses in 4x4 pick-up trucks whizzed by me at break-neck speeds. Sure, their extra traction made it easier to go, but what they weren't considering was the fact that that extra drive gear could not help them stop. I just hoped it wouldn't be me that was in their path when they discovered this.
I 'm normally a pretty impatient driver myself, polite to others, but usually in a hurry regardless. So as I approached my turn off for work, I saw my usual exit up ahead about 1/4 of a mile. I was behind a delivery truck, a flatbed filled with bags of cement, and I decided to take the closest exit off the main road to just get off the slippery skating rink as soon as possible. It turned out to be a decision that would probably save my life, if not save me from serious injury.
No sooner had I made the decision to turn left and slowed behind the cement delivery truck than a brand new BMW sedan came zooming toward us from the opposite direction. I could see he was going way too fast on the icy road. This was verified when he started spinning like a figure skater. It was such a beautiful car and I sat watching it spin across the lane in front of the truck and into the lane that I would have been in had I been my usual impatient self and passed the truck. I would have taken that BMW right in the mouth. Spinning and sliding right into the grill of my shitty 1994 Toyota Corolla. It would have been devastation. Hopefully my airbag would have deployed. Who knows. I was fortunate. The guy in the far right lane next to me was not. He took the full brunt of the Bimmer as they slammed into each other side to side. His little import was hit so hard it was completely up on the curb. The BMW stopped about 100 feet behind him. I saw the BMW driver, a total douchebag looking guy with Gucci looking sunglasses, get out of his car and seem stunned. I'm sure he was stunned that his amazing driving skills couldn't prevent him from spinning out on a sheet of ice. Meanwhile, the poor guy he hit was probably wondering how he was going to get to work, pay for his car, and generally get on with his life. Good job Mr. BMW.
That was just one incident of horrible driving that I witnessed in the last couple of days. I could go on, and on, and on. But I'll save it for another time. Hopefully, we're done with the snow and ice here in the mid-south. And I'll get home to Colorado soon, where at least, people know how to drive in inclement weather situations.
I'm stuck in Memphis, TN doing some training for my job for about two and a half months. It's not the worst place in the world to spend that much time, but it's not home either. Lately, the mid-south has seen some incredible weather which has brought out the absolute worst in it's vehicle operators. Granted, the concept of snow removal is non-existent, which only adds to the mayhem, but you'd think the lack thereof would lead to an overall reliance on caution. Not so. Not even close.
Because they don't have snowplows here, or sand spreading trucks, or magnesium chloride trucks, the roads were pure ice the other day. That didn't stop the many morons from heading out like any other day, assaulting the road as if it were a straight-away at Talladega. The worst culprits were the pick-up trucks. With no weight over their drive axles, they just skidded, and skidded with reckless abandon. And everyone here owns a pick-up. You do the math. It was next to impossible to not be behind one of these completely inadequate vehicles. I felt like I was just moments away from a collision.
I left for work an hour early, planning on the chaos that would be out there. It wasn't a bad decision. It took the full hour to drive the usually 20 minute route to work. Along the way there were many cars stuck in ditches, around telephone poles, and stalled on hills, unable to get moving. Meanwhile, geniuses in 4x4 pick-up trucks whizzed by me at break-neck speeds. Sure, their extra traction made it easier to go, but what they weren't considering was the fact that that extra drive gear could not help them stop. I just hoped it wouldn't be me that was in their path when they discovered this.
I 'm normally a pretty impatient driver myself, polite to others, but usually in a hurry regardless. So as I approached my turn off for work, I saw my usual exit up ahead about 1/4 of a mile. I was behind a delivery truck, a flatbed filled with bags of cement, and I decided to take the closest exit off the main road to just get off the slippery skating rink as soon as possible. It turned out to be a decision that would probably save my life, if not save me from serious injury.
No sooner had I made the decision to turn left and slowed behind the cement delivery truck than a brand new BMW sedan came zooming toward us from the opposite direction. I could see he was going way too fast on the icy road. This was verified when he started spinning like a figure skater. It was such a beautiful car and I sat watching it spin across the lane in front of the truck and into the lane that I would have been in had I been my usual impatient self and passed the truck. I would have taken that BMW right in the mouth. Spinning and sliding right into the grill of my shitty 1994 Toyota Corolla. It would have been devastation. Hopefully my airbag would have deployed. Who knows. I was fortunate. The guy in the far right lane next to me was not. He took the full brunt of the Bimmer as they slammed into each other side to side. His little import was hit so hard it was completely up on the curb. The BMW stopped about 100 feet behind him. I saw the BMW driver, a total douchebag looking guy with Gucci looking sunglasses, get out of his car and seem stunned. I'm sure he was stunned that his amazing driving skills couldn't prevent him from spinning out on a sheet of ice. Meanwhile, the poor guy he hit was probably wondering how he was going to get to work, pay for his car, and generally get on with his life. Good job Mr. BMW.
That was just one incident of horrible driving that I witnessed in the last couple of days. I could go on, and on, and on. But I'll save it for another time. Hopefully, we're done with the snow and ice here in the mid-south. And I'll get home to Colorado soon, where at least, people know how to drive in inclement weather situations.
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